The "Damn Daniel" Video Having 272,000 Retweets Means I'm Officially Too Old For The Internet

So Hank is like my ear to the ground on the streets of young internet. He’s 22, still plugged in, still understands what is going on. Every time I don’t understand a word or get confused on some new meme, I just ask Hank. He’s a lifesaver for a 31 year old guy who likes to crack jokes and watch sports but misses some of the shit going on online. So today when Hank sent me this and gave me a heads up that it was the new meme going crazy viral, you can guess what my reaction was. What. The. Fuck. No seriously, what the fuck. I’ve watched it about 10 times and I still don’t get it. It’s just some flamboyant kid with a camera being impressed with some other kid’s shoes? And his name is Daniel? I’m like Michael Jordan when those kids asked him “what are those?”. It happened, I officially got too old for the internet. All it took was a kid in middle school strutting around in his new shoes. Had a good run, it was fun while it lasted, no regrets. Now someone, anyone, explain to me what this is and why it’s important because even Hank said it was stupid as shit but somehow going insane on the internet.

I did laugh at the “Damn Daniel, back at it again with the white vans”. Everyone knows a fresh pair of white sneaks give you that extra pop, like white cleats on the football field making you faster. That’s just science. Maybe there is hope for me after all, we can build on that.